Too much, and too personal to write here. My life, as I know it, is over. I've made a few mistakes in my life, a few too many. And everything I know and love has been taken away from me, which probably serves me right, but doesn't make it any easier to accept.
I'm at the middle of my projected life expectancy, and I feel like someone who won the lottery and pissed it all away, only to be in a worse state.
I'm not sure how I am going to go on.
It is going to be intensely difficult to cope.
I am numb beyond compare.
I regret. And I am sad.
I am alone.